Today I ate an entire chocolate Chicken.
wow. I am doing so well.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Laura: Sprink Break, or, a Temporary Diet Vacation
164 lbs
After an amazing Spring Break trip to New England, I am glad to be back and eating healthy again. My week consisted of rather enjoyable day trips, and some rather indulgent eating habits. Cheesecake in New York City, Mike's Pastries in Boston, bagels for Breakfast, cheeseburgers in Salem, Mass, Ben and Jerry's ice cream...all delicious, yes, but probably a bit overboard. Stomach pains and general discomfort accompanied these eating deicisions, along with a few moments of "Oh my God, why did I just eat all that?"
However, there are no regrets. I learned my lesson about loading up on junk food. But, hey, it was a vacation, and I think that both my roommate and I earned a well-deserved break from dietary restrictions. This probably seems a bit wishy-washy on my part (especially after several entries that were like, "I will not cheat!") but, I have to say I'm glad to be back at school and back on the diet bandwagon for the rest of the semester. I never really realized how good I felt when my body was full of healthy fruits and vegetables. Excessive carbs made me feel sluggish, heavy, and more tired than anything else.
If anything, this vacation helped me understand/realize the postive aspects of this diet. I ate all of the foods I have deprived myself of for several weeks, and realized that I sort of felt better without them. While it was nice to indulge a bit (after all, we were on vacation for crying out loud), it was only temporary. Now, it's time to get back to healthy eating and exercising.
Though, I have to admit, it was an amazing week. And it was so nice to be carefree. No schoolwork, no diet...just lots of museums, adventures, jelly beans, and good company.
After an amazing Spring Break trip to New England, I am glad to be back and eating healthy again. My week consisted of rather enjoyable day trips, and some rather indulgent eating habits. Cheesecake in New York City, Mike's Pastries in Boston, bagels for Breakfast, cheeseburgers in Salem, Mass, Ben and Jerry's ice cream...all delicious, yes, but probably a bit overboard. Stomach pains and general discomfort accompanied these eating deicisions, along with a few moments of "Oh my God, why did I just eat all that?"
However, there are no regrets. I learned my lesson about loading up on junk food. But, hey, it was a vacation, and I think that both my roommate and I earned a well-deserved break from dietary restrictions. This probably seems a bit wishy-washy on my part (especially after several entries that were like, "I will not cheat!") but, I have to say I'm glad to be back at school and back on the diet bandwagon for the rest of the semester. I never really realized how good I felt when my body was full of healthy fruits and vegetables. Excessive carbs made me feel sluggish, heavy, and more tired than anything else.
If anything, this vacation helped me understand/realize the postive aspects of this diet. I ate all of the foods I have deprived myself of for several weeks, and realized that I sort of felt better without them. While it was nice to indulge a bit (after all, we were on vacation for crying out loud), it was only temporary. Now, it's time to get back to healthy eating and exercising.
Though, I have to admit, it was an amazing week. And it was so nice to be carefree. No schoolwork, no diet...just lots of museums, adventures, jelly beans, and good company.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Hannah: A note
Dear Hannah,
No. More. Pie.
Possibly ever.
Now that you've come to realize that high amounts of carbs make you feel really sick, you should definitely avoid them more completely. I think your stomach is less inclined towards big amounts of sugar and carbs and things like that, so when you cheated with a slice of chocolate pie tonight at Perkins, you should have known that you would be feeling really uncomfortable shortly there after.
Yes, it sucks, but it's also for the best.
So, for next time, just remember that it may taste good now, but stomach pain is totally NOT worth it!
Love,
Hannah
No. More. Pie.
Possibly ever.
Now that you've come to realize that high amounts of carbs make you feel really sick, you should definitely avoid them more completely. I think your stomach is less inclined towards big amounts of sugar and carbs and things like that, so when you cheated with a slice of chocolate pie tonight at Perkins, you should have known that you would be feeling really uncomfortable shortly there after.
Yes, it sucks, but it's also for the best.
So, for next time, just remember that it may taste good now, but stomach pain is totally NOT worth it!
Love,
Hannah
Laura: New Modifications
160 lbs
To address the concerns of those who think I might die on this diet, and in light of recent events, I have made the following modifications:
1. The addition of more protein (eggs, chicken, fish)
2. The addition of a daily work out
3. A daily meal schedule (3 meals a day, one snack in the evening at consistent times)
4. The addition of multivitamins
5. The addition of skim milk in coffee (to increase dairy intake)
Cheating is reserved for special occasions. Mind you, cheating now means eating a sandwich, munching on a carbohydrate, or drinking a glass of soda. Cheating does not entail eating a cheeseburger or a piece of pizza or things of that nature. And special occasions means special occasions, not "Oh, well, it's Tuesday, so I'll have a sandwich." Special occasions are limited to events such as Holidays, Birthdays, Opening Night Galas, and things of that nature. Of course, if the world is falling apart, a slice of bread or a spoonful of peanut butter is probably acceptable.
Working out has definitely boosted my morale (though today, fitting in a work out may be difficult). I leave the gym feeling great, proactive, and pretty good about myself. My body is falling back into the routine of exercising daily (or, as close to daily as possible), and I've started taking longer routes to classes to burn some extra calories. Once the weather is nicer, some outdoor activities (such as tennis with my roommate) will prove to be fun means of physical activity. Things are on the ups. Despite the stress I am feeling right now as the result of some silly social drama, I am proud of myself for not dealing with it with a pint of ice cream. I'm starting to feel better about myself and though the weight loss has been slow and steady up until this point, I can't help but get excited as my jeans start to fit better.
To address the concerns of those who think I might die on this diet, and in light of recent events, I have made the following modifications:
1. The addition of more protein (eggs, chicken, fish)
2. The addition of a daily work out
3. A daily meal schedule (3 meals a day, one snack in the evening at consistent times)
4. The addition of multivitamins
5. The addition of skim milk in coffee (to increase dairy intake)
Cheating is reserved for special occasions. Mind you, cheating now means eating a sandwich, munching on a carbohydrate, or drinking a glass of soda. Cheating does not entail eating a cheeseburger or a piece of pizza or things of that nature. And special occasions means special occasions, not "Oh, well, it's Tuesday, so I'll have a sandwich." Special occasions are limited to events such as Holidays, Birthdays, Opening Night Galas, and things of that nature. Of course, if the world is falling apart, a slice of bread or a spoonful of peanut butter is probably acceptable.
Working out has definitely boosted my morale (though today, fitting in a work out may be difficult). I leave the gym feeling great, proactive, and pretty good about myself. My body is falling back into the routine of exercising daily (or, as close to daily as possible), and I've started taking longer routes to classes to burn some extra calories. Once the weather is nicer, some outdoor activities (such as tennis with my roommate) will prove to be fun means of physical activity. Things are on the ups. Despite the stress I am feeling right now as the result of some silly social drama, I am proud of myself for not dealing with it with a pint of ice cream. I'm starting to feel better about myself and though the weight loss has been slow and steady up until this point, I can't help but get excited as my jeans start to fit better.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Hannah: Adaptation
weight: I was 119 this morning.
As previously mentioned, dieting is hard.
As previously mentioned, I am very bad at dieting.
As previously mentioned, real dieting makes me miserable and lethargic.
So, I have decided that to make this diet work for me, it requires some adaptation.
Changes:
- More protein! Chicken is okay! and delicious, and quite healthy.
- Exercise! Especially now that it's slowly beginning to get warmer, head to the gym. Play tennis. Crunch.
- Occasionally, eat those things which make you happy. Probably not doughnuts and ice cream, but a wrap once in a while won't kill you. Make wise choices here. A burger very rarely is fine. Happy-foods are worth eating. Fat is not.
- Keep up with those salads! Just because the rules have loosened up doesn't mean you should take advantage. Bad days are days for chicken caesar wraps. Good, happy, healthy days should be salads and fruit and yogurt. There is no need to eat too much EVER.
I'm doing well on the Healthy-Eating-Habits front, and will keep that up. These adaptations and wriggles around the rules are for special occasions. When going out to dinner with friends, or on Sloppy Joe day at the CDR. But then, only half the bun is necessary.
Much more attainable for me. And with the addition of exercise, I feel that most things will balance out.
Happiness. Yes. This is nice.
As previously mentioned, dieting is hard.
As previously mentioned, I am very bad at dieting.
As previously mentioned, real dieting makes me miserable and lethargic.
So, I have decided that to make this diet work for me, it requires some adaptation.
Changes:
- More protein! Chicken is okay! and delicious, and quite healthy.
- Exercise! Especially now that it's slowly beginning to get warmer, head to the gym. Play tennis. Crunch.
- Occasionally, eat those things which make you happy. Probably not doughnuts and ice cream, but a wrap once in a while won't kill you. Make wise choices here. A burger very rarely is fine. Happy-foods are worth eating. Fat is not.
- Keep up with those salads! Just because the rules have loosened up doesn't mean you should take advantage. Bad days are days for chicken caesar wraps. Good, happy, healthy days should be salads and fruit and yogurt. There is no need to eat too much EVER.
I'm doing well on the Healthy-Eating-Habits front, and will keep that up. These adaptations and wriggles around the rules are for special occasions. When going out to dinner with friends, or on Sloppy Joe day at the CDR. But then, only half the bun is necessary.
Much more attainable for me. And with the addition of exercise, I feel that most things will balance out.
Happiness. Yes. This is nice.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Laura: A Bit of Cheating, A Lot of Stress
160 lbs
Things I've eaten in the past five days that I shouldn't have:
2 brownies
2 slices of pizza
bacon salad dressing (which was probably worth a million calories)
3 french fries
6 tator tots
2 peppermint patties
1 mini hershey bar
1 glass of diet dr. pepper
1 bite of french toast
1 cappucino (full fat content)
While I'm sure that the diet Gods (or even worse, Christian Bale) aren't going to reach down from the heavens and strike me dead, I still feel sort of bad for cheating a lot these past five days or so. Mostly, I've fallen into a routine: salad and a piece of fruit for lunch, salad and a piece of fruit for dinner, coffee mid-day, and popcorn in the evening as a snack while I'm studying. But right now, I'm unbelievably stressed out, and all I want to do is eat a bagel. I want to eat a bagel. Smothered in cream cheese. Yum.
I keep telling myself that once I reach my goal weight (which is still like 20lbs away), I can slowly re-introduce foods like sandwiches, cereal, and other more exciting foods back into my diets. There are still foods that I will definitely stay away from (i.e. pizza, donuts, excessive amounts of pasta, etc). But I keep on pushing forward, reminding myself that this lifestyle is not forever. This is a means to an end. Someday, I will be able to eat the occasional bagel, but also possess the ability to say no to horribly unhealthy foods. While this diet is extreme now, it will become less extreme in the future.
I realized how hard this diet is when everyone around me is indifferent. While I still have the support of my roommate, I feel like I don't have the support of my other friends. They all laugh and eat burgers in front of me and tell me that diets are stupid. But all of my friends are skinny. All of them are thin and beautiful and have no idea how humiliating it is to be fat. All of them can find significant others easily, can wear slinky dresses, and get constant compliments. I don't think anyone really understands how much I hate being overweight. I look at pictures of myself and feel uncomfortable pangs of disgust. I go to parties and feel gross. I'm 20 years old, I've never been hit on, I've never been out on a date, and I've never been told I'm good-looking. While I don't live my life waiting around for people to shower me with praise, it is very hard to feel ugly all the time.
I'm not going to give up, because I've been unhappy with myself for too long. Sure, food tastes good, food is comforting, food is enjoyable...but I've depended on it for my whole life and it has never brought me anything but temporary comfort. I don't want to feel disgusted with myself anymore. I want to be able to walk into a room with confidence instead of shame. I have the power to change. And if it gets to the point where no one cares or no one supports me in this endeavor, I don't care. I'm still going to try with every fiber of my being to lose these 20 pounds. I can do it.
I can do it. I will do it.
Things I've eaten in the past five days that I shouldn't have:
2 brownies
2 slices of pizza
bacon salad dressing (which was probably worth a million calories)
3 french fries
6 tator tots
2 peppermint patties
1 mini hershey bar
1 glass of diet dr. pepper
1 bite of french toast
1 cappucino (full fat content)
While I'm sure that the diet Gods (or even worse, Christian Bale) aren't going to reach down from the heavens and strike me dead, I still feel sort of bad for cheating a lot these past five days or so. Mostly, I've fallen into a routine: salad and a piece of fruit for lunch, salad and a piece of fruit for dinner, coffee mid-day, and popcorn in the evening as a snack while I'm studying. But right now, I'm unbelievably stressed out, and all I want to do is eat a bagel. I want to eat a bagel. Smothered in cream cheese. Yum.
I keep telling myself that once I reach my goal weight (which is still like 20lbs away), I can slowly re-introduce foods like sandwiches, cereal, and other more exciting foods back into my diets. There are still foods that I will definitely stay away from (i.e. pizza, donuts, excessive amounts of pasta, etc). But I keep on pushing forward, reminding myself that this lifestyle is not forever. This is a means to an end. Someday, I will be able to eat the occasional bagel, but also possess the ability to say no to horribly unhealthy foods. While this diet is extreme now, it will become less extreme in the future.
I realized how hard this diet is when everyone around me is indifferent. While I still have the support of my roommate, I feel like I don't have the support of my other friends. They all laugh and eat burgers in front of me and tell me that diets are stupid. But all of my friends are skinny. All of them are thin and beautiful and have no idea how humiliating it is to be fat. All of them can find significant others easily, can wear slinky dresses, and get constant compliments. I don't think anyone really understands how much I hate being overweight. I look at pictures of myself and feel uncomfortable pangs of disgust. I go to parties and feel gross. I'm 20 years old, I've never been hit on, I've never been out on a date, and I've never been told I'm good-looking. While I don't live my life waiting around for people to shower me with praise, it is very hard to feel ugly all the time.
I'm not going to give up, because I've been unhappy with myself for too long. Sure, food tastes good, food is comforting, food is enjoyable...but I've depended on it for my whole life and it has never brought me anything but temporary comfort. I don't want to feel disgusted with myself anymore. I want to be able to walk into a room with confidence instead of shame. I have the power to change. And if it gets to the point where no one cares or no one supports me in this endeavor, I don't care. I'm still going to try with every fiber of my being to lose these 20 pounds. I can do it.
I can do it. I will do it.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Hannah: This is not getting easier for me.
Weight: somewhere around 120.
While I appreciate the idea that eventually, I will not want to cheat, in theory, I thought I would be feeling those sorts of things by now. I am not. Not at all. Not even a little bit. I am very proud of my lovely roommate for really enjoying salads, and really wanting to eat salads, but... I'm not there. And I don't feel like I'm getting there. This diet remains as painful now as it was at day 1. Salads are boring to eat. They don't taste all that good. And I never grew to like salads with a lot of stuff on them. I'm simple that way.
I think stress eating for me was never really about stress. It was about enjoying food and enjoying moments and enjoying life. I eat/ate unhealthy foods because... they taste so good. And good tasting foods are sometimes very satisfying. And yes, sometimes good food really does make me happier. A solid, hearty, warm meal can really lift my spirits. A delicious sandwich can take a bad day and make it brighter. A good burger can make me feel genuinely happy.
Over Christmas Holiday, and spent a lot of time making sandwiches and then taking them down into my room with me, curling into bed, and watching a movie while eating a turkey sandwich. And I was happy. So happy.
While I don't miss the "Oh God, why did I eat that?" moments, I do miss the "That was a perfect, wonderful, filling, delightful meal" moments. Cutting out the late night doughnuts was a good idea, cutting out dinners with friends at restaurants, where I can eat the foods that genuinely make me happy? That was not a good idea.
Perhaps... this diet is not for me. Not in this form. Daily eating habits should remain the same. But sometimes... eating for the sake of happiness is worthwhile. and necessary.
While I appreciate the idea that eventually, I will not want to cheat, in theory, I thought I would be feeling those sorts of things by now. I am not. Not at all. Not even a little bit. I am very proud of my lovely roommate for really enjoying salads, and really wanting to eat salads, but... I'm not there. And I don't feel like I'm getting there. This diet remains as painful now as it was at day 1. Salads are boring to eat. They don't taste all that good. And I never grew to like salads with a lot of stuff on them. I'm simple that way.
I think stress eating for me was never really about stress. It was about enjoying food and enjoying moments and enjoying life. I eat/ate unhealthy foods because... they taste so good. And good tasting foods are sometimes very satisfying. And yes, sometimes good food really does make me happier. A solid, hearty, warm meal can really lift my spirits. A delicious sandwich can take a bad day and make it brighter. A good burger can make me feel genuinely happy.
Over Christmas Holiday, and spent a lot of time making sandwiches and then taking them down into my room with me, curling into bed, and watching a movie while eating a turkey sandwich. And I was happy. So happy.
While I don't miss the "Oh God, why did I eat that?" moments, I do miss the "That was a perfect, wonderful, filling, delightful meal" moments. Cutting out the late night doughnuts was a good idea, cutting out dinners with friends at restaurants, where I can eat the foods that genuinely make me happy? That was not a good idea.
Perhaps... this diet is not for me. Not in this form. Daily eating habits should remain the same. But sometimes... eating for the sake of happiness is worthwhile. and necessary.
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